For all we have made great strides in the field of sex research and become more open to discussing the subject as a society, certain aspects of human sexuality remain taboo.
We believe the lies and mishegoss that we hear from others as we grow up, and cling to these untruths for reasons we can’t fathom even as we hold them tight. To that end, we’ve assembled seven lies about sex that are prevalent in our culture, and that frankly make our staff laugh a little.
1. Women don’t respond to porn:
Okay, for a lot of women, the majority of porn might not be our favorite thing, but that doesn’t mean we don’t have a response. Dr. Lindsey Doe reported that 1/3 of women have admitted to watching porn, and experienced a positive physical response.
2. Sex will always hurt for the woman the first time:
Depending on the extent to which a woman relaxes and is aroused, and the skill of her partner, there is no reason sex has to hurt, and certainly not to the extent that certain literature, media and old wives’ tales would lead us to believe.
3. Sex = Love:
Yeah, not so much. Sometimes sex is just sex. Though the release of certain chemicals in the brain causes people to bond more intensely, it is important to remember that sex is not the only thing to base a relationship on. You also have to factor in compatibility, stability, emotional intimacy, and a million other things to enter into a loving relationship.
4. Hymens “rip”:
Untrue. The hymen can actually take many forms, and unless a woman is born with an imperforate hymen (with no opening, requiring small surgical intervention) the hymen will stretch, but not rip during normal intercourse. Depending on the elasticity of the membrane, it can return to its original condition over time.
5. All women bleed when they lose their virginity:
While for some women, this is indeed true (and varies in intensity from woman to woman), it is not a guarantee for everyone. In fact, in a 1998 study by Dr. Sara Patterson-Brown, published in the British Medical Journal, 63% of women questioned reported not bleeding their first time.
6. Men and women peak at the same time:
Alas, this is untrue. Though everyone’s sexuality develops at different rates, in general men hit their testosterone peak around 18 and women around 28. That’s not to say that you can’t have fantastic, fulfilling sex all through your life. That comes down to your bond with your partner. In this case, we’re only discussing hormones, not your ability to create an intimate, charged connection.
7. Only attractive people have hot sex:
Now this one is just ridiculous. As long as you are attracted to your partner, and engage in consensual, mutually satisfactory sex, you are going to have a good time.